I spent my Valentine’s Day (well, part of it) at the Hayward Public Library. If you’ve ever been, you’ll know that it’s quite a sweet place to spend a Saturday, full of happy, multi-hued children and families, a real community center. I was reading from both my novels, and doing a Q & A. From Five Things I Can’t Live Without, I decided to read a section where Nora first helps someone spruce up an internet dating profile; I figured it fit pretty well with the holiday, with its depiction of the anxiety-provoking yet hopeful search for love. Then I read from Love and Other Natural Disasters—Chapter 2, right after Eve has discovered her husband’s emotional affar—and it occurred to me that the two passages together could be seen as somewhat disturbing bookends: The optimism of finding someone versus the reality of trying to keep everything afloat long-term. It’s worth noting here that the delightful branch manager who’d invited me out was supposed to get married in seven weeks, and had met her partner online.
But neither she nor anyone else in the audience seemed to register this turn toward love gone wrong, which was good. Because I don’t really see my second book as love gone wrong; I see it as love gone hard, and I do believe that’s the nature of any long-term committed relationship. I’m still picturing all those kids from the library, wishing that they’ll be taught certain relationship skills and truths right from the get-go. I wish it didn’t come as such a disheartening shock to so many people that at some point, it might not all go wrong, but undeniably, it will go hard. If we were all more ready for that, we wouldn’t get so despondent when our time came.
My belated Valentine’s wish: Hope you’re all finding love right now, or keeping it!